Boycott The Bag

The Oscars -- How many lives wasted?

Last night, I attended the Entertainment Weekly Oscar viewing party.  Elaine's was packed to the gills with folks, including half the cast of the various flavors of Law and Order (Christopher Meloni, Chris Noth,  Dann Florek, Tamara Tunie).

While the party was lively, the Oscar show dragged.  Between the warblings of Celine Dion, the Michael Mann Americana montage, the interminable Dreamgirls medley and the bizarre clips of foreign films from the past, the show was indulgent and interminable.  Bored by the telecast, I had the time and inclination to do some calculations.

First, let's consider that the 79th Oscars ran over 20 minutes long.

Now, 20 minutes doesn't seem all that excessive.  After all, what's 20 minutes out of one life?  Not a big deal.  However, if the audience of the Oscars is 1 billion (and Ellen Degeneres said it is!) 20 minutes is an enormous investment of our collective energy.

If the lifespan of the average Oscar viewer is 75 years, then the average viewer has a lifespan of 39.42 million minutes.

Since 1 billion people watch the Oscars, every minute of the telecast taken over the entire audience is equivalent to the total lifespan -- in minutes -- of 25 people.

By running the show 20 minutes late, the Academy Awards consumed the same number of minutes as 500 human lives.

The show was an exercise in narcissism.  But to eat through 500 human lives because Louis Horvitz didn't want to shut up Ennio Morricone, makes the show sadistic to boot.

A shallow, nasty, undermining kind of sisterhood

At my college in the midwest, there was a very active "Greek" community -- approximately 60% of the student body was a member of a fraternity or a sorority.  Of the sororities, each had a personality and a look.  The "Beta Sigs" were more glamorous but not the best students (the kind of girls a guy would want to date).  The "Alpha Sigs" were wholesome girl-next-door types (the kind of girls a guy would want to marry).  And the "Theta Phis" were athletic and boisterous (the kind of girls a guy would want on his coed softball team). 

Apparently, these types of sorority stereotypes are pervasive, and at DePauw University in Indiana, when the Delta Zeta sorority got the reputation as being "socially awkward", the sorority's national officers paid a visit to the campus to assess the Delta Zeta sisters on their commitment to the sisterhood and to recruitment.  Of the 35 sorority members, only 12 were deemed acceptable.  The remaining 23 were told to move out of the sorority house.

The New York Times reports that the 23 members told to leave "included every woman who was overweight. They also included the only black, Korean and Vietnamese members. The dozen students allowed to stay were slender and popular with fraternity men — conventionally pretty women the sorority hoped could attract new recruits. Six of the 12 were so infuriated they quit."

Where racism once guided Delta Zeta's recruitment practices, now lookism does.  The DePauw chapter was populated by brainy women, "including many science and math majors, as well as talented disabled women".  What is apparently heretical, is that the women were selected for their smarts and personality, rather than for their sex appeal.  Of course, having a sorority full of nerds can make it hard to recruit the archetypal sorority girl, which is what alarmed the national officers and caused them to swoop in.

After an interview with the sorority's national officers, where each DePauw Delta Zeta was told to look her best and where the ladies were quizzed on their commitment to the sorority and to recruitment, only a handful were deemed sufficiently committed.  This group did not include the chapter's president and secretary; longstanding members of the sorority who had taken on leadership positions.  If that's not "commitment", what is?

Delta Zeta should be ashamed of what it has done to its DePauw "sisters" in the name of furthering its membership.  I am embarrassed for the "sisters" who were evicted from their sorority -- they deserve better.  Fortunately, they appear to be smart, thoughtful types who will surely have satisfying professional and personal lives.  But kudos go to the 6 "sisters" who resigned from this ugly, shallow and divisive family.  They demonstrate the most significant meanings of sisterhood.

Quote of the week

I'm dying to find kids who are too thin.  I've got 42 models in my agency, and I'm trying to get them to lose weight.  In fact, I wish they'd come down with anorexia.

-- Janice Dickinson, in Star Magazine

The modeling business is ugly

Reports are in that VH1's show, The Agency, depicts the ugly workings of a modeling agency.  Profiling a leading agency, TMZ reports the show:

takes place inside the famous Wilhelmina modeling agency in New York, where agents and bookers offer some very harsh advice to the young models. While already thin by normal standards, the walking waifs are continually told by their handlers to lose weight, workout more -- and to look like a "bloody stick."

Starvation always makes for great reality TV.  Think of "The Agency" as "Survivor" for gangly teenagers.  And just like with NASCAR, it's no fun until somebody crashes.

"The Agency" airs Tuesdays at 10:00 PM on VH1.

Big brother could be watching your luggage

Oh Nooooo.......The impossible happened.  Emirates Air has misplaced my Gucci and Louis Vuitton bags.  What's a fashionista to do?

Well, in future, if the fashionista has purchased luggage tags from RFID Ltd., there would be no cause for alarm.  The tags, designed to match "the colors and grains of luggage offered by Chanel, Dior, Gucci, Prada, and Louis Vuitton", include a radio-frequency ID chip that would contain the owners personal information, and which could be read at a distance by a simple hand-held scanner.  If your fancy bag has an RFID chip in it, it won't languish in lost and found for very long.

Of course there's a catch...Though the designer tags are in their final stage of production and will be available soon on RFID Ltd's Web site, don't buy the tags until the company proves it's gotten airlines to buy into its RFID system.

RFID Ltd's president, Nicholas Chavez said, "Our glamorous designer line of BagChipElite luggage tags should suit even the most discriminating of tastes." But those tags won't work if the baggage handlers don't have scanners.

Wanna walk in Milan? Better be healthy.

Milan, once again, is a trend-setter.  The self-imposed charter that would ban models under 16 and require models to present a health certificate, is starting to have an effect.

In order to walk in the Dolce & Gabbana show in Milan next week, Page 6 reports that Gisele Bundchen has gained 14 pounds.  Wanna bet she still looks fabulous? 

More on Eliana Ramos

London's Daily Mail has an extensive piece on Eliana Ramos, the Uruguayan model who died last week at the age of 18, due to a heart attack.  Eliana's sister, Luisel, also died six months ago.  It was reported that Luisel ate little more than lettuce and diet coke in the three months leading up to her death, and apparently, Eliana followed in her sister's footsteps.

A police source told the Daily Mail: "The primary diagnosis is death due to symptoms of malnutrition."

The article continues:

Several months ago Eliana, who was 5ft 7in tall, weighed 8st 10lb and had a BMI just over the minimum 18 set by Madrid fashion bosses.

But recently she had apparently been losing weight rapidly, although it was unclear whether she had been doing so deliberately to further her career.

Meanwhile, London Fashion Week is taking place, and the controversy about using size 0 models continues, with conversation taking the place of action.

Size, color, age and beauty

Jennifer Hudson is on the March cover of Vogue.  Beyonce Knowles is on the cover of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition.  Tyra Banks revisits her bikini pose, ten years and twenty pounds later.  Grey's Anatomy -- one of TV's leading dramas -- has not one, but TWO actresses who aren't stick thin, Sara Ramirez and Chandra Wilson. 

What do all these women have in common?  In a culture that laps up size 0s, they're a curvaceous exception.  Robin Givhan at the Washington Post notes a further similarity.  They're all women of color.  Include America Ferrara of Ugly Betty and Queen Latifah in this crowd, and a pattern truly emerges.

Givhan writes:

One could argue that these women, each one quite pretty, are not considered part of the mainstream -- their ethnicity is still a regularly used modifier in their professional lives. They stand just a little apart, so they are exempt from adhering to mainstream definitions of beauty. They set their own standards.

This is a fascinating insight into our culture.  And because white women are part of the ethnic mainstream, they, WE, get judged in a different way.  Our yardstick is much smaller, with far less variance permitted. 

Another curious facet regarding the women who are considered curvy and beautiful is their relative youth.  In their 20s and 30s, their age is Hollywood typical.  If we think about white women whose bodies exceed size 10 and who are still considered sexy, we have to look in a different direction.  The ranks of sexy, full-figured white women who work in front of the camera is insanely small.  Raquel Welch, in her 60s and the "new" face of MAC Cosmetics, is one obvious example.  Once again, to be considered beautiful while being full-figured, the woman needs some ruse -- in Raquel's case, her age, in Queen Latifah's case, her race -- to exempt herself from the oppressive cultural definitions of beauty.

Maybe I should start saying I am Latina.....

Will free food make size-0s hungry?

In a brilliant marketing maneuver timed to coincide with London's Fashion Week, Notting Hill restaurant Bumpkin has offered any fashion model with a BMI under 18 the opportunity to gorge themselves for free. 

Bumpkin's general manager, Dariush Nejad, said, "If I could recommend a dish to a size-zero model, it would be a [pot pie] containing leeks, chicken and bacon; it's enough to keep you warm and energized all day."

Who could resist such a tempting offer?

Torturing my Gucci Bag

"Man, these ropes sure are tight," pondered the Gucci bag while immobilized on the dining room table.  "I'm starting to ache.  I can hardly breathe.  What did I do to deserve this?  When will someone help me?"

This isn't the first time the Gucci bag has been tortured.  And it won't be the last.  Stay tuned.  And if you happen to have a bag that deserves some abuse, please forward the photos!